May 2009 Meditation: Happy Being Me
When
I think of the month of May, I think about being a woman and how
marvelous it is to be one! I enjoy being a woman, but it wasn’t always
that way. There was a time in my life when I wasn’t so happy about
being female. During this time, I was already married. I wanted to be
the one in charge. I wanted to have the final say about everything. I
struggled with the way I looked. I thought I was ugly and no good. As a
result, I had a bad attitude. I obviously, was not thankful to the Lord for what He did for me on the cross and for making me who I was. I had to change my thinking.
First,
I recognized that I was wrong. My attitude was bad. I was unthankful
and that when God created me a woman, He said it was “very good”. I
never looked at myself as being “good”, so the thought of being “very
good” was beyond me. Sure, I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t going to win a
beauty pageant. I wasn’t the smartest person around, but God made me
and had a purpose for my life. Just the idea that God made me “very
good” began to change my heart and attitude.
I also started to recognize that it was no longer I who lived, but Christ who lives in me.
My
old self was crucified with Him. I was a new creation. That meant when
I read that I should take off the old man and put on the attitude of
Christ, it was something I was capable of doing. I could do it because
Christ lives in me. I could have a good attitude because when God made
me, He made me “very good”.
Another thing that helped me was
when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was He answered,
“... love the Lord with all of your heart,…soul,….mind,….and
strength…..And….love your neighbor as yourself.”
I realized since I didn’t love me, I couldn’t love others and it meant I was not loving God.
1
John 4:20 was very revealing to me. It says if I can’t love my brother
who I can see, how can I say I love God who I cannot see. My love for
God was linked to how I felt about myself and others. I came to
understand that the more I loved me, the more I loved God. The more I
loved God, the more the more I could love myself and others.
The
love I am talking about that I had for me wasn’t selfish. It was
recognizing and appreciating who I was in Christ and all God did for me
on the cross. It was grasping that I am in Christ and He is in me,
therefore I am “very good”. It was okay to like me. Not liking me was
saying to God He made me a piece of junk. God never made anything
“junky”. Everything He made was “good”.
Now, I enjoy being a
woman. I am very thankful. I am more feminine than I used to be. I am
happier. I am content. I have a much better attitude. I am happy with
the part I play in life. I like me because when God made me, He made me
“very good”. He made you “VERY GOOD” too.
When God made me
He said I was very good
and excellent in every way.
(Genesis 1:31)