Romance: Through A Husband's Eyes
I asked a group of husbands to tell me what are their ideas (not their wife’s) of a romantic evening with their wife. The reason I asked them is because, as wives, we do not usually consider what our husband thinks about romance. Ladies, it should be our desire to please him. As we do, we’ll be blessed in our giving. Just having the opportunity to give to him is a privilege and a blessing. Nobody else can do it like you do, because you are his wife. This Valentine’s Day and throughout the year, bless him, without expectations, knowing you are doing what he likes. In doing so, you not only please him, but you please the Lord. It is important to celebrate him all year, not only when there is a holiday, birthday, or anniversary. Catch him off guard by celebrating him his way all year long. This shares your love more than waiting for a special day. It will come from your heart and not look like it is something you have to do because the world says you should.
Here are some of the responses I received:
Husband #1
1. It begins with setting up a baby-sitter for the evening (and having that continue into the next morning)
2. Dinner reservations downtown (such as the 95th floor of the John Hancock), where we can enjoy each other’s company in a nice environment
3. Possible show reservations – i.e. play, orchestra, movie, etc.
4. "Intimate" overnight accommodations downtown
5. Wrapping up with breakfast and a walk downtown (or through a museum)
***Key to all points – All of the planning and coordination is in place, and all I get to think about is spending time with my wife.
Husband #2
ahhh...my wife rubbing my feet while watching the football game...now that's romantic!
Seriously, my idea of a romantic time together needs the following ingredients:
1) Must be alone together...no party, double date, or with friends...
2) The longer the time alone together, the better. A week is great.... overnight is the preferred minimum.... but an evening or lunch is better than nothing.
3) When dining...I like sitting next to my wife instead of sitting across from her. The more physical contact the better! Quiet is also important so we can hear each other talk. She likes to talk, and I try to make sure I let her. Eye contact upon her only is essential.
4) Exploring new places and taking a long walk together...whether downtown or around the block in our neighborhood. Holding hands is a must. It's important to remember that simple things can make the biggest impact and longest impression. Wives desire to be loved and shown affection.
Husband #3
The following evening could be either spontaneous or preplanned.
(It wouldn't take away anything if preplanned.)
When I come home from work all the kids are gone. I'm lovingly greeted at the door (she's wearing something form fitting). She hangs up my coat, takes my briefcase, etc., and informs me that the kids are gone and when they will be back (if not given this info upfront, it could easily ruin the mood). I'm escorted to the kitchen to find a nice romantic table setting (candles, dim lights, blinds closed, food cooking). She tells me when dinner will be served and that I have time to freshen up (change clothes). If dinner will not be ready for a long time, then she follows me to the bedroom for some pre-dinner fun. During dinner, I'm told that after dinner we'll do something specific together (watch a pre-rented movie or a sports game) and during that time we can take some "liberalities" while we watch. Then after the movie/game, we retire to the bedroom for the rest of the time, where I am made to feel like a king.
I would like to emphasize that she tells me in advance what is going to happen the entire evening. This is very important to me for many reasons: It builds my excitement and anticipation. It takes the pressure off of me concerning what is going to happen and if I have to be on my guard (Is someone going to crash through the ceiling, dressed like a clown, and perform? Is a surprise party going to happen at any moment? Are friends coming over?) I can relax. I make decisions all day and it would be nice to have someone else make them!
Husband #4
• Walk downtown
• Worship and pray together (pray over each other)
• Make love
• Relax by watching a movie with her...
Husband #5
• I would enjoy a great dinner (Silver service with crystal, etc.)
• Maybe an overnight get-away, without the kids, someplace where there’s a Jacuzzi or warm baths/pools
• Restaurant outing on one of the building tops
• Good perfume and excellent grooming (nails, hair, dress, etc.)
• Passionate lovemaking
• Disney Cruise?
I don't need much really – just a loving, compassionate, and tender wife would be romantic enough for me. I get this all the time, so I live in romance.
Husband #6
Like others who may respond, I suppose that although my idea of a romantic time begins in various ways, they all lead to the same conclusion… ☺
As I ponder the question, it seems a romantic time, in my plans, usually includes an activity together: bike riding, a walk, shopping, a hike at a State Park – but not a movie, because I want to do something WITH her. For me personally, that includes talking and doing. Of course, a romantic time can reach as far away as a getaway at a beach. But in its simplest form, it would be a walk or window-shopping before a dinner.
The conversation would be about the glories of our past (our dating years, for example) or the desires for our future – but not about the issues that cause me to think that I must deal with something now (a son I must correct or an employee who needs counsel).
It is most romantic when I sense that she wants to be with me, is proud to be hanging on my arm, and carries herself as if she’s trying to attract and keep my attention (glances, the clothes she chose…).
As I said, they all lead to the same conclusion, with the moon full, a fresh breeze through the open windows……….
Husband #7
Dinner out and a Jacuzzi afterwards
Husband #8
Keep it simple and don’t let the guy think he’s in control of whether or not your romantic time together is a success. Most guys don’t like things when they get too complicated. Make your romantic time together about him!
1. A quiet evening
2. A kind note, expressing your gratitude and appreciation
3. Speak to the King in him:
• “You’re doing a great job”
• “I appreciate all the time you’ve been putting into …”
• “I know it’s not always easy, but I trust you”
• “Thank you”
4. See a movie he’d enjoy watching
What does he enjoy?
When romantic interludes fail, it’s because of unfulfilled expectations. Take the pressure off!
Husband #9
I like to spend an evening in downtown Chicago or a weekend in New York. While there, it’s great to have a nice dinner at a restaurant and sleep late the next day. Going to a play or a movie is also fun. Just spending a little time away from the responsibilities of children, business, work, etc., is romantic.
Husband #10
The outfit...
The hair ...
The perfume...
Husband #11
A nice romantic evening would be to go downtown to a very classy and quiet restaurant, have a relaxed dinner, and then go to the Park Hyatt or Ritz Carlton for an overnight stay. When we arrive at our hotel room, there would be a dozen long stemmed roses and some fancy chocolates, as well as a gift of sexy lingerie. Of course, we would want a Jacuzzi tub, for a long bath by candlelight. Then the next morning, breakfast in bed would complete our time.
Husband #12
My idea of a romantic time is...hmm...ummm...well...anyway...uhmm...ok...I actually never thought about it, to be open...man this is harder than figuring out who the antichrist is! (I always thought about the "romantic" thing being me towards her, not her to me.) Well, I guess I can take a crack at it...how about going downtown (Chicago) to see a "Broadway" type show, and then going to an upscale restaurant afterward, for a nice dinner. Then the rest of the evening…I can’t put in Christian terms, so I will leave it at that...thanks for the mind jarring!
Husband #13
What an interesting question – one of which I did not have a quick answer for!
Romance to me is an environment; the sense and experience of the area or atmosphere around you. It could be the ride in the car together or the candles in the bedroom. Whatever it may be, please make sure it is peaceful.
The strongest of warriors and the greatest of men have been crushed by the words of unkind women. Kindness and a good attitude will go a very long way, regardless of where you are able to enjoy the tranquility created by the woman you love.
Husband #14
I am not sure what all that would be, but here are the things I like to do with her...things that make me enjoy her:
1. Going on a road trip
2. Walking around downtown without a specific agenda
3. When she enjoys my company/jokes/conversation
4. Late night coffee at our favorite coffee spot
5. When she compliments me
The biggest "romantic maker" is when she is happy, up, and jolly.
The biggest "romantic breaker" is when she becomes responsible, pushy, bossy, "mother-hen" like, irritated, and selfish.
Our most romantic moment was when we went sleigh riding in the northern woods...a big sleigh with two horses.
Husband #15
When we get to be together, just the two of us…It could be watching TV, going for a walk, eating, driving, studying….Just being together is romantic to me.
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