It’s February the month of love and many single women in their twenty’s and beyond are bracing themselves for wedding and baby shower mania. I just attended the baby shower of a lovely young married lady. I had a great time celebrating the babies’ arrival with family and friends. Truth time... once in a while after one of these girly events the thoughts come on the drive way home, “Nia you’re getting a little older…”or “Nia when are you going to get married?” and “Maybe your standard is a bit too high.”  Then I realize where these bogus thoughts are coming from, deal with them and keep on moving. Choosing contentment over ungratefulness and self doubt…

So I just turned twenty seven, I’m single and not currently dating anyone at the moment. I have a great job, a sweet roommate and a great church family. There is a lot going on in my life and plenty to keep me occupied. Generally speaking I’m not super focused on getting married. I’m happy, and like I said -- I have a pretty fast paced life.  Honestly, if someone would have told me I would be twenty-seven and single at age sixteen, I would have called them a liar or at least a false prophet. Someday, I do want to be married and I do want to have children. Yes, sometimes loneliness and self doubt try to speak to me and yes, I have been a little agitated when some happily married women age 40 stands up to encourage single people to be content . These well meaning women often come across as insensitive, without really understanding the challenges that singles face. That being said…the message still rings true. Disappointment and desire are not the issue; contentment and gratefulness are the issue.

As a single person I sometimes need to remind myself that God is good and faith is choosing to believe God himself is enough. Marriage, children, family and career are not the satisfaction and fulfillment of my life. Colossians 2:10b says “you are complete in Christ who is over all principalities and powers…” I know it can sound cheesy if you have not completely locked into your surrender to God. It’s the truth and I’m speaking to myself too. I need to hear about the right perspective and what it is to be in Christ.

1 Timothy 6:6 says, “Now godliness with contentment is great gain.” So when I decide to lock in, life is less about what I want and when I want it to happen, and more about me offering my body as a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to God. I may not want to hear all of this at a low moment when I’m on the side of the road with a blown tire, or when I have to make two trips up the stairs with the groceries. If I were married, my “husband” could have taken care of it, rushed in and saved the day. 

Contentment. Say it with me, “Contentment.”  Dictionary.com says “contentment is the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind”. I know, I know, some of you are saying, “this is a desire God has put in my heart and it says in Genesis ‘it’s not good for man to be alone’”. 

Let’s remember God doesn’t need our help to fulfill His will. The definition says “ease of mind”, this means you’re not worried about it, and you’re not in the corner crying or coveting. Proverbs 10:22 says, “the blessings of the Lord make one rich and He adds no sorrow to it”.  Hebrews 13:5b says “be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’”. So let’s choose today that we are going to believe God; that He is good and that you may be single, but you’re not alone. I think for me, it’s not allowing myself to be overtaken in my mind, to begin over-thinking , day dreaming and coveting what I don’t have and think I deserve.

Here are the facts. God is good. Jesus Christ is our contentment, our satisfaction, and our ease of mind.  Our contentment in every area of life married, single, young and seasoned comes out of our gratefulness to God.  

Written by Nia DuPree’, a 27  year old single woman who has a passion for the Lord.