Poisoned Packages?
April 2009
I love words. I love the way certain words feel when I say them, like spurious or indistinguishable. I like the way other words look when they are written out, like jubilee or chrome.
The concept of words is fascinating to me; that we as humans have
discovered a system for putting letters and sounds together to name
things, to teach, and to express emotion. It is something that sets us
apart from all other life on the earth.
Someone once told me
that words are like a tiny package, a candy wrapper…you pick out a
thought or feeling that you desire someone else to understand, and you
carefully wrap it in a word that you believe will best communicate your
point. In a perfect world, we would all be this purposeful and precise
in selecting our statements. People would receive our tiny “gifts” with
the appropriate emotions. We would understand and be understood. Days
and nights of wondering, “I wonder what he meant by that?” or “Did I
really say it that way? Did I come off this way?” would be forever
gone. And every card, love letter, memo and speech would be weighty and
exact, void of pretention and emptiness.
Unfortunately,
miscommunication abounds in our fallen world. It can be simple or very
complex. For example, when you’re driving someone home who knows
exactly where they are going, they may forget to warn you of each turn
until the last minute, resulting in the dreaded, “Turn right here!”
exclamation when they really meant “Turn left at this exact spot.” You
misunderstand and end up having to make an extra turn or two. When my
sister Audrey was little, she was the cutest rough-and-tumble,
raspy-voiced little kewpie doll anyone has ever seen. But she
frequently mixed up her words, resulting in more than a few raised
eyebrows over the years. She once told a Vacation Bible School teacher
that my dad had been kidnapped when he was a baby. The attendant was
horrified and puzzled, as little Audrey said it with such a smile and
with such pride - she could not possibly have understood correctly. Her
intuition was correct; my dad had not been kidnapped at all, but adopted
when he was a baby. My mom was mortified. Audrey had misunderstood the
concept of a family taking care of a baby that was not biologically
their own.
The results of miscommunication can be less than
laughable, and even tragic in some cases. The difference between a
patient getting 20 ccs of a medicine or 20 gtts of that
same medicine could mean the difference between life and death. Stories
and articles that are based on false information or misinterpretation
have defamed people for life and robbed some of their good reputations.
Sentences wielded just a little too harshly or angry outbursts can
cause irreparable damage. Words are powerful.
That being said
let me put this issue to rest: I am writing this to myself. I have been
the CHIEF offender of the law against an unbridled tongue. Since I have
been truly born again, I have moved away from the crude four-letter
words that use to so easily spill out of my mouth…however, this is only
one part of the journey. I have always loved words, but my knowledge of
vocabulary and grammar has in some cases only given me extensive
artillery when it comes to firing off in a word battle. Anger and
frustration can be just as venomous and caustic when expressed with a
calculated sarcasm as they would be with a string of obscenities. The
wrapping is different but the candy inside is just as poisonous to its
recipient.
I was struck by a passage in the book of Job concerning speech: “As
long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, my
lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue will utter no deceit.” -Job
27:4 (NIV) And this was in the midst of Job’s afflictions! His family
and livestock had all perished, his wealth was gone, and his health was
rapidly declining. His “friends” were convinced he had brought this
pain upon himself through his own lack of integrity, but Job would not
concede. Not only was he in pain and alone, but everyone around him was
positive that he must have a secret sin that was bringing on this
trial. There are few things I hate in life as much as being
misunderstood or misjudged, and if I were in Job’s situation and knew
without a shadow of a doubt that I had a clean conscience before God, I
highly doubt I would have been able to keep from embarking on a
self-righteous rampage. Job’s response? “I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.” –Job 27:5 (NIV)
I
am issuing a challenge now to anyone who wants to join me. For the next
month ( and hopefully permanently!), I am consciously making the
decision to replace any complaint with a statement of thanks. Every
time I am tempted to let a snide comment slip out concerning a coworker
or bellyache about a body part that I am dissatisfied with, I am
instead going to pick something I am thankful for and say it out loud. "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth…” Psalm
39:1(NIV) Even if I slip up and begin to complain or lash out, I will
repent and turn it into thanks. Last night was my first test – our
lights went out at the restaurant where I work, and before I knew it
the place was dark, full of smoke, and very cold. “I’m freezing! This
is terrible! We can’t make any money if we have to turn all our
customers away! It’s so smoky in here!” my flesh screamed. But I
remembered my goal, and instead of complaining began to thank God that
I had a job, and that He would provide for me even in the power outage.
Let me know if you are going to accept the challenge with me
(jyakopin@winninginlife.org)! I’d love to agree with you as we set out
on this mission to bridle our tongues, and in so doing, to work out our
salvation, eliminate confusion and strife among our neighbors, and
speak life to a dying world.
~
“If
anyone among you thinks himself to be religious while he doesn't bridle
his tongue, but deceives his heart, this man's religion is worthless.”
James 1:26 (NAS)
"He who would love life, and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.”
1 Peter 3:10 (NAS)
“A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.”
Proverbs 11:12 (KJV)
‘The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”
Proverbs 15:4 (KJV)
"Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.”
1 Peter 3:10 (KJV)
“The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.”
Proverbs 16:21
“And
I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every
idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or
condemn you.”
Matthew 12:36-37 (NLT)
By Jennifer Yakopin |
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